How I Help You

Individual Therapies


Marriage and Relationship
Therapies



Second Wives Club
Dr. Millian is co-author of the relationship book "THE SECOND WIVES CLUB: Secrets for Becoming Lovers for Life," based upon her experience with "second-time-around" couples (straight or gay). The book was endorsed by Dr. John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" and Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., author of "Love Is Letting Go of Fear" and "Forgiveness."

Experienced Stress Management Therapist in Woodcliff Lake, NJ

Everyone faces stress, but not everyone knows how to handle stress in a healthy way. When you need to take control of your life, reach out to Lenore Millian, PhD. I'm an experienced stress management therapist in Woodcliff, NJ, that is passionate about helping clients feel more in control of themselves and their environment.

Contact my office to schedule your initial appointment or to learn more about my approach to therapy. During this first consultation, we'll discuss your concerns, your goals, and how I can help.

Techniques That Serve Everyone

Stress impacts people of all ages and from all backgrounds. It's your body's physical, mental, and chemical reaction to circumstances that frighten, excite, confuse, and endanger you. However, what matters most is your perception of the "stressor" or how you look at the situation. I'll teach you stress management techniques that help you feel in charge even during the most overwhelming circumstances.

Over the years, I've worked with a diverse array of clients, and I've also conducted many stress management seminars. No matter what challenges you're facing, I can teach you how to deal with stress in a positive manner and help you abandon the destructive habits and behaviors holding you back.

Guide for Developing Your Own Stress Profile

Take a little time to reflect on the following questions as a guide to self-exploration of your stress profile:

  1. How often do you feel tense, anxious, irritable?
  2. How often do you eat, drink or smoke to relieve tension?
  3. Do you feel that you have more to do than you can accomplish each day? Do you always feel rushed?
  4. Do you enjoy what you are doing? Are your daily tasks a source of pleasure and satisfaction?
  5. Do you find time to relax regularly every day?
  6. Do you have difficulty sleeping?
  7. How would you rate your general state of health at present?
  8. Do you consider your present weight to be a problem?
  9. Do you eat a nutritious balanced diet (free from the excesses that can become stressors)?
  10. Do you exercise regularly?
  11. Do you believe you are getting adequate exercise and do you enjoy it?
  12. Do you believe you are physically fit? (Is your resting pulse rate above 80/min?)
  13. Calculate your life change index; is it more than 300 for the year?
  14. Do you try to recognize tension in yourself? (And how do others see you expressing your stress and tension?)

Ask yourself:

  • What kind of tension you feel and under what circumstances.
  • What were you thinking or feeling and how did you respond when under heavy stress?

Keep a log or diary to assist you in a self-examination to identify your own sources of stress (what bothers you).

Try to recognize your own manifestations of stress and tension (others may need to help you).

Life Change Index

(Social Readjustment Rating Scale)

Rank

Life Event

Mean Value
(Scale of Impact)

1

Death of spouse/partner

100

2

Divorce

73

3

Marital separation

65

4

Jail term

63

5

Death of close family member

63

6

Personal injury or illness

53

7

Marriage

50

8

Fired at work

47

9

Marital reconciliation

45

10

Retirement

45

11

Change in health of family member

44

12

Pregnancy

40

13

Sex difficulties

39

14

Gain of new family member

39

15

Business adjustment

39

16

Change in financial state

38

17

Death of close friend

37

18

Change to different line of work

36

19

Change in number of arguments with partner

35

20

Mortgage over $100,000

31

21

Foreclosure of mortgage or loan

30

22

Change in responsibilities at work

29

23

Son or daughter leaving home

29

24

Trouble with in-laws

29

25

Outstanding personal achievement

28

26

Partner beginning or stopping work

26

27

Begin or end school

26

28

Change in living conditions

25

29

Revision of personal habits

24

30

Trouble with boss

23

31

Change in work hours or conditions

20

32

Change in residence

20

33

Change in schools

20

34

Change in recreation

19

35

Change in church activities

19

36

Change in social activities

18

37

Mortgage or loan less than $100,000

17

38

Change in sleeping habits

16

39

Change in number of family get-togethers

15

40

Change in eating habits

15

41

Vacation

13

42

Christmas

12

43

Minor violations of the law

11

 

Check off events that have happened to you within the past 12 months. A score over 300 points indicates that an individual's chances of experiencing a health change will be very high (nearly 90%).

Source: Holmes, H. and Rahe, R. "The Social Readjustment Rating Scale." Journal of Psychosomatic Research 11:213 (April 1967) p. 214. Reprinted with permission.