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Second Wives Club
Dr. Millian is co-author of the relationship book "THE SECOND WIVES CLUB: Secrets for Becoming Lovers for Life," based upon her experience with "second-time-around" couples (straight or gay). The book was endorsed by Dr. John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" and Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., author of "Love Is Letting Go of Fear" and "Forgiveness."

Guide for Using the Relaxation Response

Four Basic Elements

  1. A quiet environment (to turn off external stimuli).
  2. A comfortable position (sitting or kneeling with back straight; no tight clothing).
  3. An object to dwell upon (repetition of a word or sound, such as ONE, a mental device such as attending to one's breathing.
  4. A PASSIVE attitude (Let It Happen – an emptying of thoughts and distractions).

Relaxation response is a form of meditation: a state of concentration (by focusing on an object one cancels out all distractions associated with everyday life).

Relaxation response is NOT:

a loss of control
a loss of consciousness
a state of sleep
a state of drowsiness

Use once or twice a day 15-20 min. With regular practice of the relaxation response, the following results are possible for many.

During Meditation

  1. A decrease in the rate of metabolism—hypometabolism, a restful state with decrease in heart and respiratory rate.
  2. A marked decrease in the body's oxygen consumption.
  3. A decrease in blood pressure.
  4. A decrease in muscle tension.

Carry-Over from Meditation

Research continues to support the regular meditators' claims of lasting psycho-physiological changes such as:

  1. Lower arousal response to stress – less anxiety.
  2. Better coping ability.
  3. A new found acceptance of self, more tolerant of own weakness or limitations.
  4. Improved learning ability with better retention and recall.
  5. A sense of calm, of being collected, a more quiet philosophical attitude.

Consult sources below for underlying theory of relaxation response and further comprehension of the subject.

Sources: Benson, H. The Relaxation Response (New York: William Morrow 1976). Carrington, P. Freedom in Meditation (New York: Anchor Press Doubleday 1977).